TMS Movie Review: Road House
(MGM / Amazon Prime)
When I watched Rowdy Herrington’s Road House (1989) a couple years back, I thought, “This is so lame.” When I saw Doug Liman’s new remake also titled Road House this past weekend, I thought, “This is so lame, but at least a few of the people involved here are somewhat self-aware.” And by people, I primarily mean stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Williams. Like its predecessor, the updated concept is so ridiculous, you have to be on board for it from the start or not bother at all. But unfortunately, even with this in mind, the remake renders mostly unnecessary considering the original was already pretty silly to begin with.
Instead of smalltown Missouri in the late 1980s, it’s an island off The Florida Keys in modern times where Elwood Dalton (Gyllenhaal) is a reclusive, retired UFC fighter killing time at amateur fights late at night. Roadhouse owner Frankie (Williams) pops up to offer him the position of head bouncer at her popular establishment simply called The Road House. But he’s reluctant until a near death experience convinces him to accept the job. What should be easy work for Dalton, turns dirty when he gets too in over his head with local gangs and criminals who are after the bar.
(MGM / Amazon Prime)
Conor McGregor, Billy Magnussen, Arturo Castro and J.D. Padro play some of the thugs Dalton gets mixed up with, Daniela Melchior co-stars as an ER nurse he begins dating, and Hannah Lanier plays a local teenager fond of Dalton. While naturally we couldn’t get any sort of cameo from original star Patrick Swayze this time around, there are surprisingly no references to the first film outside of the general plot. Though probably for the better, the material of this Road House still feels mainly stale writing and direction wise. Jokes that are so dumb you will either groan or laugh from how bad they are, expository dialogue in every scene to quickly supply character backgrounds, the damsel in distress trope utilized not once, but twice. Liman has The Bourne Identity (2002) and The Edge of Tomorrow (2014) on his resume, so he knows how to handle action sequences. But the elaborate fights here have too many jump cuts and CG effects veering over the top to enjoy. Gyllenhaal and Williams do their best to elevate the clichés they have to work with, but the rest of the cast aren’t given much else, and McGregor in particular is too much of a cartoon to be menacing.
Back in the day, Road House would be the kind of movie you settle on while ‘channel surfing’ for decent background noise. I guess these days it’s the type of movie you settle on while browsing your streaming options.