TMS Movie Review: Bullet Train
(Columbia Pictures / Sony Pictures)
WARNING: Review contains cameo spoilers
David Leitch’s Bullet Train has an amazing six degrees of separation between the director and the cast of famous faces. Brad Pitt and Sandra Bullock co-starred in the Nee Bros’ The Lost City just four months earlier this year; as did Channing Tatum who also has a brief cameo in Bullet Train. Leitch directed Pitt, Zazie Beetz and Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool 2 (2018). Reynolds previously co-starred with Bullock in Anne Fletcher’s The Proposal (2009); while Beetz and her co-star on FX’s “Atlanta” (2016- ), Brian Tyree Henry, also appear in Bullet Train. And that’s not all, but I’ll stop here to save myself from rambling. Unfortunately, all these amusing connections and reunions are wasted on one of the most mediocre action flicks to hit theaters lately.
In modern day Tokyo, Japan, an anonymous American assassin (Pitt) with a string of seriously terrible luck is assigned by his contractor, Maria (Bullock in a voiceover role) to grab a silver briefcase from a bullet train going to Kyoto. On the train, various other passengers are also after the briefcase, including English assassins and adoptive brothers ‘Lemon’ (Henry) and ‘Tangerine’ (Aaron Taylor-Johnson); the daughter of a Euro crime lord who uses the code name ‘The Prince’ (Joey King); and a vengeful Japanese assassin called ‘The Father’ (Andrew Koji). Logan Lerman, Michael Shannon, Antonio ‘Bad Bunny’ Ocasio and Karen Fukuhara are a few more recognizable names who show up throughout Bullet Train.
(Columbia Pictures / Sony Pictures)
With the way Leitch’s career is going and his track record with critics, you would think he might have started with commercials and music videos a la McG or Francis Lawrence. But in actuality, Leitch was an in-demand stunt double and coordinator before co-directing the smash hit John Wick (2014) with Chad Stahelski. Since then, he’s underwhelmingly the latest definition of ‘style over substance.’ Bullet Train is the type of movie where you have to accept all disbelief and impracticality in the story’s logic to fit all of the action sequence eye candy. It’s flashy, exciting, colorful, star studded and energizing, but not particularly interesting or well written. I can’t speak for Kōtarō Isaka’s original 2010 novel of the same name, but Zak Olkewicz’s script leaves a lot to be desired. Some weak and obnoxious comic relief is found in Bullet Train, including a recurring gag about Lemon’s longtime fascination with Thomas the Tank Engine which never fully lands; as well as Pitt’s character consistently being a clumsy dweeb.
It’s a bit fitting all of the characters are essentially nameless since their story is pretty forgettable anyway, although I think the original intention was more ironic. Leitch knows how to capture action and fight choreography on film just fine. But as a visual storyteller, he has no real identity you can’t already find with Guy Ritchie or Edgar Wright. It’s a shame because Bullet Train has one of the most impressive and diverse casts in a recent big-budget, Hollywood project, but they’re wasted on the completely wrong material. For a naturally tight and fun blockbuster experience this late summer, stick with the Daniels’ Everything, Everywhere, All at Once or Joseph Kosinski’s Top Gun: Maverick.